The Chicago Bar Bracket would like to welcome it’s new ‘CMO,’ Grapes. Grapes has brought the Chicago Bar Bracket up to speed with ‘the Millennials’ by curating our first listicle. Meanwhile, Z-Bot, our new CTO & Chief Editor, is proudly doing nothing, so all technical errors and misstakes can be attributed to him.
Now, the 15 MOST SHOCKING! Reasons to do the Chicago Bar Bracket, by Grapes.
1.
The chance to tell your grandkids about the time that you rode on the maiden voyage of the “Modern Pony Keg Express.”
That’s right, a chance to tell your kids about how you rode the Pony Keg Express, bringing word of joy and merriment to the inebriated masses of the world back in ol’ “Dickety-fourteen” – because the kaiser stole our word for 20.
2.
Get rides around town from complete strangers (AKA Lyft).
This won’t be completely satisfactory until Lyft offers a rickshaw service. However, I feel pulling a cart would inhibit the superb conversations I have with the drivers. Except Olan. That guy deserves a rickshaw. At least it won’t have doors for us to slam.
Also, here’s a promo for a free Lyft ride that will also earn me free Lyft rides: MIKE2095
Also, my name totally isn’t Mike….
Who you gonna call?
Most Strangers!
3.
Alcohol.
4.
The once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to participate in the *original* Chicago Bar Bracket (NOT the knock-off one with millions of dollars of marketing efforts behind it. So hipster!)
Much like Miller Lite before Bud Light, the Chicago Bar Bracket is the original lite beer bar bracket and responsible for fad diets, washboard abs, first dates, and you.
Miller, Lyft, I see an excellent co-branding opportunity here with the CBB.
5.
A chance to win super awesome raffle prizes, like an evening with ‘Jay Cutler’ himself!
Disclaimer: ‘Jay Cutler’ may be a cigarette smoking douche, or even a piece of plastic. Either way, he’s no Ryan Tannehill.
Catler
6.
Meet cool bartenders who have lots of fun stories to tell (and booze).
Like Uncle Rick, at Quenchers, who single handedly held of the Spanish Armada at the Alamo on December 7th, 1941.
AKA, The Monroe Doctrine
7.
Sample cocktails and bar specialties.
The terms ‘samples’ and ‘bar specialities’ may be used loosely in this context.
Yes, ‘sample’ AMAZON
8.
Shots! Shots! Shots! Shots! Shots!
EVERYBODY!
9.
Shots! Shots! Shots! Shots! Shots!
10.
Help determine the best bar in the CITY of Chicago, unlike those other bar bracket challenges that include bars from the suburbs.
As a white guy from the suburbs, it’s totally appropriate for me to post this.
11.
Meet the regulars and hear their tales of yore.
Go to Archie’s, meet a pine cone. Go to Duke of Perth, meet barroom royalty.
12.
Hang out and drink with fun, sexy, exciting people!
13.
Visit bars that you may have never even heard of.
Don’t worry, what type of horror story ever started at a bar?
14.
Side brackets, such as Best Bathroom, Best Bartender, and Best Bloody Mary!
And meta-brackets like the Best Reasons To Do The Bar Bracket Bracket.
Meta
15.
Alcohol.
Drinking on the Metra is classy though.
Also, whoever this girl is, she gets it.
Chicago Bar Bracket 
As the proud CTO and Editor, I must note that number 6 has a typo in it.
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