An unpretentious bar versus… another unpretentious bar.

 For the last Bracket Matchup between Quenchers and The Globe I found myself stuck in the rain and enjoying some waiting beers at a River North bar. This time I made the rookie mistake and forgot to bring some waiting beers on the Metra for the ride in with “The Wheach.” Terrible decision. We had to make sober conversation and watch our locomotive peers imbibe in motion.

 Soon enough though our Prohibition themed rail tour of Chicagoland was over and we met up with “ZBot” outside Union Station. Once united, the three of us hopped in a Lyft driven by Olanjibberjabbersomething, or Olan for short.

Olan did not seem to appreciate my attempts to say his full name. Also, while on 94, we’re pretty sure he was actively trying to kill us. Then again “Shake It Off” was on the radio and death may very well be the most effective way to get Tay Tay’s tune out of your head.

 Luckily we avoided the obituaries despite Olan’s best efforts and arrived at The Hideout. Olan decided the best way to follow up our joy ride was by honking and yelling at us about slamming the doors on his Chrysler 200. The word “slamming” was used pretty liberally by Olan in this case. Also, if you’re concerned about how people close your doors then maybe you shouldn’t be signing into an app that has you drive strangers around. Just saying.

First impressions of the area around The Hideout aren’t too encouraging unless you’ve decided to run a Tumblr of best Fleet and Facility Management buildings in Chicago.

As for The Hideout itself, all I can say is that The Wheach & ZBot were afraid to walk into the hideout and sent me in as a scout. I also saw some sort of baseball bat like object near the door which on first impressions I assumed was for chasing away rats. On further inspection of the bar this is probably not true.

 Besides Lawrence, the bartender, our group was the entire crowd at The Hideout when we got there. (Bar opens at 4, we were there at 4:15 on a Friday. Like the classy people we are.) Fortunately Lawrence is one cool dude and The Wheach & ZBot’s fears about the bar were calmed as soon as he started chatting with us.

 For my first drink I asked Lawrence for a recommendation, being the experiential sort of Bar Bracketer that I am. He mentioned the house cocktail, The Wooden Leg: rye, soda, lemon, bitters. We took three of those and adjourned to the patio out front.

 It’s pretty hard to pass up drinking on a picnic table. The hideout provided no exception.

 For those of you who have never drank on a picnic table, go to College already you fucking teenagers.

 Also spotted from the tables was a Vespa gang. They came into The Hideout for a drink and then were back on the streets terrorizing innocent scooter drivers. We assumed the Vespa gang was quick to leave because they were probably doing their own Bar Bracket.

 Anyways, we eventually had to head back into The Hideout proper to get more drinks, and that’s when we found these gems.

 Free pins. Hashtag Score. (That’s how you do that, right?)

 For our second round of drinks we were introduced to Crafthouse cocktails. Crafthouse, a Chicago company, makes bottled cocktails and Delilah’s had some left over after a block party. I had a Moscow Mule (my first Moscow Mule). The Wheach tried to order the Southside (because it was he didn’t know how to say Paloma) but then I reminded him that the Southside has gin so he opted for the Paloma. ZBot ginned up and took the Southside.

 The group unanimously chose the Southside as the best Crafthouse cocktail. Vigorous debates ensued between The Wheach and I about whether the Moscow Mule or Paloma sucked balls. I say the Paloma was weird. Might have to do a Crafthouse cocktail bracket to get to the bottom of this.

 Eventually we moved onto more conventional drinks and Mimsy showed up. ZBot attempted to peel the label off his beer and stick it on my glass. He was disappointed that it did not change the taste of my beer. His alchemy skills have been in decline for years. Mimsy continued drinking whisky diets, picking up where he left off on the last matchup.

In addition to abandoning our cocktail quest we also abandoned the picnic tables so we could talk to Lawrence the bartender. He’s been there a solid 14 years, which only sounds like a short time once you hear that The Hideout has been in operation since the 1890’s. Also, according to Lawrence, The Hideout gave approximately zero fucks about prohibition. The Hideout didn’t stay open as a speakeasy. Apparently The Hideout just stayed open.

Props old timey Hideout, props.

 While conversing with Lawrence I spotted a Nebraska water bottle behind the bar. Lawrence told us it was filled with acid to spray Cornhuskers.

 It came as a small surprise that Lawrence was so passionate about hating Nebraska given that he told us that he knew nothing about sports when we tried describing the bar bracket. Then again, the four in our group went to Illinois and the Illini were scheduled to play Nebraska the next day. What can I say, Lawrence played to the Crowd.

 I also assume his band, the Lawrence Peters Outfit plays to the crowd in much the same manner with “un-ruined country music.” The Outfit was scheduled to play at the Hideout later that night. Unfortunately we were too inebriated later and ZBot had Mario Kart at his place. Actually, scratch out the ‘u’ & ‘n’ at the beginning of that last sentence. Although I do want to check out the LPO sometime.

 Our visit to The Hideout was about to come to an end, but then The Wheach noticed a bottle of Malort on the shelf. This is also when I finally realized it’s “Malort,” not “Malorts.” Tsk tsk.

 The Wheach and I did a round of Malort, coming nowhere near The Wheach’s expectation of how bad it would be. Also, Lawrence gave the best description of the taste that I’ve ever heard – concentrated grapefruit. Definitely better than my “1000 pine needle”  description.

 Besides telling me how to actually say Malort, Lawrence left us with a request to say hello to Mark, the owner of Delilah’s. Someone remarked that the Chicago Bar Bracket is now the modern Pony Express. I said “more like the Pony Keg Express.” Nobody laughed. Figured I should beat a dead pony and put that joke here.

 After Malort’ing it up we headed out and called a second Lyft with a much nicer Lyfter. Sadly this driver vetoed our idea of getting a couple bottles of Champagne and having him drive us around in Club Lyft.

 Arriving at Delilah’s it was obvious that Delilah’s is not located in the urban boonies like The Hideout. Wheach and ZBot were undeterred from entering this bar. Maybe it was the liquid courage, maybe it was Drew the doorman’s awesome mustache. Still, ZBot was pretty adamant about telling us how much Delilah’s sucked based on his previous experiences.

 After complimenting Drew on his ‘stache I proudly walked up to the bar and asked for Mike the owner, much like a true jackass. Whatever, working for the Pony Keg Express requires thick skin.

Unfortunately Mike wasn’t there so I proceeded to order a Makers and ginger with a squeeze of lime and a dash of bitters. I’m confident that my drink order quickly elevated me to Queen of England status in the bar.

 Reassuring the crowd that I got the order from “The Twitters” did little to help my standing within the rigid bar room hierarchy. Still, I appreciate the recommendation from the social media guru running the @DelilahsChicago twitter handle.

The Makers & ginger was delicious and followed up with a shot of Makers. Mmm, Makers on Makers on Makers. I then picked up my usual tomfoolery and asked Eric the bartender what his favorite cocktail is. Eric proceeded to make the best Old Fashioned of my life, made with Old Weller 107 Bourbon. If you’re ever at Delilah’s, get this. They even light the orange twist on fire. After several intensive seconds of Googling, I learned that the flame is supposed to lightly caramelize the oil from the skin, adding to the flavor of the drink. Some claim it’s just showmanship though. Either way, fire makes me happy.

We then proceeded to have a variety of cocktails. I had my first sazerac, made by Drew, the bartender/doorman. The difference between the smell and taste of the sazerac was striking and beautiful. I cried a little. The Southern Tier Warlock was also particularly tasty (pumpkin beer.)

 Eventually The Wheach decided he wanted a French 75. Eric had no clue what I was talking about when I asked for two of these and he rightfully laughed at me. Guess I moved on from Queen of England to King of France status with that drink choice. Still, Eric figured out how to make it and despite being his first time it was delicious. I’m not sure what a French 75 is supposed to taste like, but it was delicious.

 With each cocktail and beer recommendation from Eric and Drew tasting better than the last I was quickly emboldened to try new things. So naturally when ZBot offered to buy me a drink I jumped on the opportunity to try something new, something fresh.

 And that Makers and Diet was superb.

 At some point “King Jim” showed up. Not sure when exactly. Alcohol.

 Before leaving the bar I pointed out the sweet swag we got from The Hideout. Delilah’s didn’t have any pins, but Drew pulled out a pitcher full of matchboxes. I asked for the pitcher. Sadly Drew was a sane bartender and declined my offer. I settled for a matchbox.

 Overall both bars were awesome. They were divey and had great bartenders.

 Delilah’s unpretentiously made well crafted and delicious cocktails. Also the atmosphere of the bar was a bit more imposing and set the mood, while The Hideout, most likely because of the time of day, didn’t really set the mood and kinda let you set your own.

 Meanwhile The Hideout had some history to it and a sweet patio. Plus I feel like we didn’t get the full Hideout experience as we didn’t stay around for a show or for many drinking companions besides the feared Vespa Gang.

 It’s a tough call between these two bars. Both bars had welcoming demeanors and it was easy to make yourself comfortable. At The Hideout we got to shoot the shit with Lawrence. Eric at Delilah’s was equally great to talk to and he told us a bit about what goes into being a bartender and some perspective on the craft.

 For me, I preferred Delilah’s because it didn’t feel as empty (maybe because it wasn’t – not The Hideout’s fault given the time we went), but mostly because of the damn good cocktails.

 Wheach liked both bars but preferred The Hideout “Because I don’t need reasons.” However, he did find a new project for his wife to work on at Delilah’s. A counter for his Maker’s Graveyard. The Wheach originally planned on doing a separate writeup for the matchup, but the pain of The Hideout’s loss was too much and he said the quote above would suffice.

Mimsy preferred Delilah’s, mostly for cocktail making ability. He also saw an almost empty bottle of Buffalo Trace on their shelves and considered drinking a 2nd Bar Bracket bar out of Buffalo Trace.

 ZBot ended up liking both bars, which was a big surprise because he said he was automatically voting down Delilah’s based on past experiences. ZBot also followed through on his idea to do a writeup for this matchup, which is included below.

 

 I’ve known about the Chicago Bar Bracket for a few weeks, and was given the actual bracket a few weeks before the competition began. I thought it was a great idea, but I hadn’t heard of a lot of the bars. A few of them I had been to and absolutely despised just based on my experiences (Delilah’s, Big Star, The Violet Hour, Guthrie’s) and a few of them made me question “why is this on the best BAR list?” (Au Cheval, The Chicago Diner, Kuma’s Corner), but I trust Plunger’s very scientific method of determining what location is on the list.

I finally was able to attend my first match-up, The Hideout Vs. Delilah’s.  As I mentioned above, I have had no good experiences at Delilah’s and was very against the notion that it could beat out another bar, even if that bar was a drag. The first bar in the match-up was The Hideout, a place I had always seen a sign for while driving to work, and thought “You really don’t want to advertise the place you are hiding out at. Is this a joke sign that someone put up for the hell of it?”  Turns out, it’s a nice little dive bar next to the Chicago Fleet Management Depot, kind of off the beaten path and not really near anything all that grand. Here’s the view from out front, re-used without permission from Google Maps:

They have a nice outdoor area where you can sip your cocktail (or slam it, depending on how good of a time you are having) and a stage in the back.

When we arrived, we met our bartender, Lawrence (Laurence? Lauren’s?) and explained to him what we were doing.  We were also the first few people in the bar, at 4:10 PM, so yes, we were those guys. Anyway, we asked for a suggestion on any house cocktails and were given a $5 Wooden Leg. Not too shabby but nothing exquisite. Next we ordered some of these local Chicago pre-made drinks, I got a “South Side” which included Gin, and the other two guys got drinks that I cannot recall at the moment, but mine was definitely the most delicious. Finally we went back inside, took a look around, and had a little chat with Lawrence. He gave us the history of the bar, talked about his band and invited us to come back and watch him play “his brand of country” that night in the back room. At this point it was time for us to head to Delilah’s, and I was not quite yet in the mood to go back to a place I had such poor expectations of.

When we arrived, we sat at the L corner of the bar, so the four of us (Mimsi had now joined us) could discuss and drink together. The bar was much quieter and less… douchey than my previous experiences. The upstairs death trap was not open, and we were able to hear each other while we were talking. Plunger again explained to the bartender, Eric, what we were doing and how everything worked. He was extremely excited about it, but when he saw the bracket itself became a little disillusioned, saying that he’s up against some stiff competition. As the bar was relatively quiet, we were able to get Eric to create some of his specialty whiskey based drinks, and we were not disappointed. I don’t recall the first drink that we had as someone else was ordering and I just decided to go with the flow and acquire the same drink, but it was damn good. Before making some Old Fashioned’s for two of the guys, Eric decided it was time to have a Maker’s Mark shot with the four of us. No complaints here!

So while I had a good experience at both locations, I think it might be a little unfair to give Delilah’s my vote as we went there later in the evening with a more active crowd. With that in mind, though, Delilah’s is definitely in a more central location. I personally don’t care about live music and doubt that waiting for the bands at The Hideout would change my vote to them. While The Hideout is kind of a historical building (old Chicago bar open during prohibition, not even a speakeasy) it did not seem to be old or as dusty/moldy as I would have expected. Walking into Delilah’s it was dark and somewhat uninviting, and it had a hint of moldiness and dust about it. Despite the dirtiness, Eric proved to be an excellent bartender with great drinks, knowledge and enthusiasm. Lawrence also embodied these characteristics, but unfortunately for the Hideout, there were too many factors against them for me to vote for them in this round.

My vote, despite my general disdain for the upstairs of Delilah’s, will begrudgingly be for Delilah’s based on location and excellent cocktails.

So that about sums it it up. A 3-1 vote for Delilah’s over The Hideout. Both bars were great and I’m obviously making a return to Delilah’s for the Bracket, but The Wheach and I are also making plans to return to The Hideout for the Lawrence Peters Outfit sometime.

If you want to read individual reviews on each bar, you can find them at the Chicago Bar Bracket Google+ Page.

Until the next bracket, remember, “it’s never too early to start thinking about drinking.”